Wednesday, July 29, 2009

He turned seventeen today!

Dimitris turns seventeen today, but we had a 'fake'(Lucy's term) birthday dinner for him yesterday since Rea was leaving for a Greek holiday this morning. And no I didn't make that cheesecake- thankfully! And yes, it was out of this world!!!
What do you wish for your children? There came a time when I had to think very hard on this one because Nigel came for a different culture (he is a proud Scott!) and there was conflict in terms of certain values- So I had to climb above cultural conditioning and think it out for my self-
I realised my main goal was to encourage my children to be self-reliant and act with self-confidence and a fundamental sense of personal responsibility. My second goal was to create the circumstances within which they will get the best education possible. So its quite simple isn't it? It is all about empowering children to think and choose for themselves. After I figured that one out I had to align all my daily choices as a parent with that value system. I wish I had gone through this thinking process much earlier in life than when I did. For many years my choices as a parent were a reaction to my own unbringing.
So I am bloody lucky Dimitri is the 'wonder-full' young man...that he has become! Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

12 comments:

our little love nest said...

Love your way of thinking through this. I am sure that you are one amazing mom. I wish I was in Vancouver. I would beg you to hang out with us so I could glean some knowledge in both art and life from you. You seem so evolved and interesting to me. xo

caramela said...

Dear Dee, you are so kind!- I was quite chaotic and impulsive for the longest time- But I really worked hard at getting my life sorted out and becoming the best parent I could- that involved some very hard choices and some big fighting-I am still trying really hard and you are a very inpriring parent to me I assure you!
Have a lovely day,
Annamaria

●• Thereza said...

very nice thoughts there...

caramela said...

Thank you Thereza,
Annamaria

Kylie said...

Happy Birthday Dimitri!!! Seventeen - wow! That's a big year :) I have gone through exactly the same process as you Annamaria... I wish I could redo all those early years where I was so overwhelmed being a mother and not coping with it all. I fell back on the strictness of my childhood too. Now, I just want the same as you. I wish for them self-reliance and confidence and definitely personal responsibility. I want them to be people who care about social justice and to be aware of how their actions impact on others. Most of all, for their future, I want them to choose a living about which they are passionate; I want them to do what they love, not chase the dollar like most kids do these days. Hmm... don't want much, do I?!!! I better stop here.. Bon Voyage to Rea! Hope she has a lovely trip. And thank you to you, Annamaria, for another wonderful post :) K

caramela said...

It takes time, doesn't it? Time and lots of thought and effort...I am glad we share this(too)-
thank you Kylie for your thoughtful response!
Annamaria

goldenbird said...

So interesting to read your goals for your children. You sound like a wonderful mother. Happy birthday to Dimitris!

caramela said...

Thank you so much both for your kind words and your wishes!
annamaria

Umatji said...

Oh lovely post. It is so hard to align what you wish for your children with how you act on any give day. I think constant reflection and a crowd of like minded parents around you helps so much. Love your creative space as well but you got me with this post especially!

caramela said...

Thank you so much umatji!
Annamaria

Amanda Nicole said...

Happy birthday Dimitri! Good call on ordering a cake - it is far, far, too hot to be turning on the oven.

I love these values, and think they're something every child should be taught. You have very lucky children!

Laura said...

wonderful post. i have come to the same conclusions as you have. loving them means allowing them to learn to be strong and thoughtful, and if i could add one more, flexible. i think personal happiness is linked inextricably to your ability continue remain optimistic when things do not go exactly as planned. our children are our teachers in so many ways.