Day 44- Sunlight under the kitchen table
watercolor 7,5 x 11 inches
For the longest, I mean longest, time, I felt almost physically uncomfortable with my work.
I was clumsily jumping here and there, trying this and that, in an attempt to understand what I was doing and where I was going.
I studied as much as I could , I looked at other artist's work, I painted over numerous paintings, I sent many others to the dump. People who loved me worried about me. Why can't she ever get it together?
I felt very lonely and stubborn. I felt like I let people down. I should be out there making lots
of money for everyone, I should have been a dentist or a real estate agent or something that made
sense to the people around me. Instead I was slicing through failed canvases, throwing multiple papers in the recycling bin, making the best I could to keep my own fires going secretly , inside. This past week has been a small oasis in a dessert. Not that anyone else would know. But inside my mind things have fallen into place. And I know that what I have just described is quite a typical artistic journey. But this is how I have lived it and you have come along the way with me, and I am so thankful. Thank you. I just wanted to share this one too with you. I have climbed one mountain and I am resting in the sunlight, with some cool breeze on my face, a brush in one hand , coffee in the other. I love what I do.